If you're book lover, you can probably look at a favorite book and picture the time and place where you read it. Since my Mom went into the hospital, I haven't been able to read. After my Mom passed, I thought I wanted to read a really sad book and I picked up a book that dealt with grief, but that didn't work for me. I let it go, and one day I saw Turbo Twenty-Three and was immediately brought back to when I loved these Stephanie Plum books. I flashed back to living with my parents, getting the new release and sitting in the living room devouring these books. I can picture the chair, the blanket and it felt very comforting. Over the course of a few days, I finished this book and was happy that I got through a book. Reading is how I relax and it felt good to close the book.
It's been 4 weeks since my Mom passed, and I can't say that it has gotten easier. Every single day is hard. The first few weeks, I would feel panicked when I thought about my Mom gone. I still feel like that some days. I still get angry, confused and frustrated. I still can't believe that she is just gone. I've realized that I need to just let myself go through these emotions. It's not a matter of one day you feel better, it's all about adjusting and taking it one day at a time.
Last week was really hard, my in laws went back home. As soon as they heard about my Mom, they came to stay with us. They stayed with us for 3 weeks. My Dad went back to work and it felt like "this is our new routine." I was so, so sad. Last week, I turned 33, and my wedding anniversary was the next day. I couldn't help but think, this is the 3rd event my Mom has already missed. Picking up this book was comforting, and it helped get through the week.